Reflections on Chicago Summer Project

The following is a reflection on one of the lessons I've learned during my time at the Chicago Summer Project...

When I got accepted to Chicago Summer Project, I asked God to show me how to see myself from His perspective. Here is what I saw first. I saw an oddly shaped image. It had a pretty cool pattern on it, but I had no idea what its purpose was as a piece of art. Then God told me to take a step back, closer to where he was. So I took a step back and I saw a small group of these images. Each one had a unique shape, and although some of them may have had a similar pattern, no two images were exactly the same. Looking a little more intently, I noticed that some of the shapes could possibly line up with the sides of the other shapes to reveal that their patterns would mesh together. "Oh, so this must be a puzzle and I'm represented by one of these pieces. Cool!"

So I immediately started looking for pieces that go with mine. I found a piece here and there that match and I started to realize more and more that I am actually represented by several puzzle pieces that fit together somehow. So in my efforts to piece together this puzzle of myself, I started searching for the best arrangement of the pieces, but I failed because I didn't have any idea what the final picture looked like. I asked what my final picture looks like and God told me He didn't want to spoil it and I was not ready, but he would give me a hint to how my picture fits. So I took another step back and realized that there is a bigger picture that my picture fits into. With every step back that I took, I realized just how big this piece of art is and it got overwhelming, so I went back to where I was and started again at trying to piece together this picture of myself.

I often got frustrated at this daunting task because the pieces frequently didn't fit where I placed them and I ended up with a mess that didn't look like anything special, and my picture didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the bigger picture. After trying to no avail, I gave up and asked God why it seemed like my picture was not coming together quite right. It was at that moment that I was reminded that this is God's puzzle to piece together and that only He knows exactly what the puzzle is supposed to look like when it's finished. Instead of trying to piece together parts of the puzzle on my own, I should completely trust that God knows how to piece everything together and that he won't place any of my puzzle pieces where they don't belong.

So I stood back and let God step forward so He could start fixing the mistakes I made with the puzzle and continue working on the final picture that included me in it the way He intended.

Now obviously, I didn't close my eyes and see a puzzle all of a sudden, but this imagery represents how, over the course of this project, God reaffirmed my identity in Him. I am unique and valuable to God because He made me for a specific purpose as part of His master plan. Part of my uniqueness is my desire to be social, and there is a purpose for it in His big picture. However, when I try in my own effort to define my purpose in life and where I fit in, I inevitably make mistakes and end up frustrating myself. Alternatively, if I turn to Him and trust Him with the entire picture (not just the parts of the picture external to me, but me included), then I can find my true value to His picture overall. I can know for certain that I will fulfill my purpose and that I will fit in with my surroundings, the surroundings that He fits me in specifically. I won't have to feel like an outcast or like I don't matter, and all my affirmation will be out of the purest love only God can provide. And with that love, I can be healed of my own hurts and I can learn to show that same pure love to others and be more effective in sharing the Gospel of Christ.

My prayer is that I always remember to trust God for EVERYTHING including the fulfillment needs of my heart, not just the external stuff. I also pray that this could be an encouragement and a challenge to all who read this to always put your trust in God to be your fulfillment and your provider. God loves you better than anyone else ever can or could. (He should be able to, He is pure love in His very nature.) Seek Him for everything and His love and grace will be sufficient for you.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
--Matthew 6:33

-Ray